Football Ham

Football Ham, originally uploaded by mkgillman.

So walking through the grocery store today I ran across two very odd food items. The first of which is the football ham. Now, I'm a big ham fan, but honestly if the biggest thing a food has going for it is a passing resemblance to a sporting good, that is not a good sign. It should be also noted that the packaging seems to be remarkably inconsistent as some of the "threads" have more detail certain packages. The biggest problem of course is that once the ham is removed from the packaging to be eaten the only redeeming value will be gone and you will just be left with an oddly shaped ham.



The faux bacon is the worst offender though. Seriously, when you became a vegetarian you lost your bacon privileges. This does not look anything like real bacon and I will put a crisp new 20 dollar bill on the line that it does not taste like bacon either. Bacon cannot be emulated. It is the greatest solid food in existence and there is no way to replicate it with soy products. Come back to the magical world of pork for your bacon. Oh yeah, a box of this junk also cost 5 bucks which would buy many more strips of wonderful bacon goodness.